Femi: Serial Monogamist

Guess a couple of my friends would have seen my karma comments, well it really sucks. But thinking about it, I might need to apologize to karma so sorry karma. The saying what goes around come around might be true but not in my friend's case. Like Effie White in dream girls, he sometimes likes the privileges but not the responsibilities, but @ the end he got around to take up the responsibilities. Sounds like glory seeking comments for him, but let talk about the bad part.  He used to be a Serial Monogamist (SM) and he’s strongly considering going back to the noble profession, girls like them until they breakup with them. SMs are usually the best boys/girls a girl/boy can date; perfect in almost every way except when it comes to long term relationship they simply run away but not without taking the responsibility of saying “it’s not you but me”. SMs are generally unconscious of their commitment issues; they just have one excuse or the other that makes it convenience to break up.

Meet Femi, a SM, shares a flat with a friend in Ogudu, and drives an EOD (Honda accord 2002) and works in GTB (min of 3m p.a.).  He had 3 successful relationships out of 5 potential girlfriends in the last 2 years yes just in 2years. The two he didn't get really shattered him because he thought he could have dumped his SM life for any of them and go in for a full long lasting relationship which might lead to marriage. The sad part is that both girls had boyfriends or shaky relationships and I’m sure you thinking he was looking for trouble right?

In the first case, the girl told him that she had a boyfriend and he already liked her a lot but she said they were having issues (words of encouragement) and he believed that they are more likely to breakup although they were still talking and already fighting over him. He was really looking for trouble and probably deserved what happens, what do you think?

In the second case, the girl didn't tell him about the boyfriend and he didn't bother asking about him (he didn’t really care) and he assumed due to very convincing circumstances that she was single. He was asking her out but she also led him on too and he later got to know about the boyfriend through a friend's friend’s friend and had to stop immediately. But he confided in me that he thought he should have continued with her and the girl wanted him to continue. Whose loss is it, his or her, did he deserve it?

He is sad because he was falling in love with the first girl (1st time in his life to be in love) and the second girl too. On a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being madly love and 1 being let just shag) the first girl had a 9 and the second girl had 7.5. But the problems with him now is that he attributes all the heartbreaks to bad karma from breaking all 3 girlfriend hearts, now that he was close to eternal love, 2 girls broke his heart by commission and omission.

But I told him that it’s not karma because he knows that the 3 girlfriends had not future with him and he didn’t want to lead them on. The 2 potentials, he was most likely to have long term or possibly marriage with them but he got a little dose of his medicine. Now he feels he should mend his heart and shield it from his would be lovers and continue as a SM. Shouldn’t he?  What do you think about this guy, shouldn’t just get a life or what?

True be told, the concept of SM has become fashionable nowadays, with a lot single parents popping up everywhere, I know people who do not want to get married again even  if a girl gets pregnant for them or if they are pregnant for the guy (baby mama syndrome I call it).

The best option for a lot of people is to enter into a serial monogamy and ensure your partner is a SM too.

 My advice for SM is to get really rich because so that when you are 60 you can look for a young 30-40 stud or babe to be co-habiting with. I hope am giving the wrong advice on the SM thing.

Written a while back April 2010

@ganxe